Scott Rampage
Member
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2011
- Messages
- 64
- Name
- Scott Rampage
We were cleaning at a house and after we pre sprayed our customer had spotter and was spotting the carpet where she thought we cleaned but we did not clean there yet.
Funny things your costumer has done.
- Thread starter Scott Rampage
- Start date
Had a customer this weekend walk on her bedroom carpets with black feet. Needless to say thier were black footprints leading to the closet. Had a customer a couple months ago ask if the could get a discount if she went topless while I cleaned.
Royal Man
Member
We had one that bought a case of douche that she used on her pet areas.... You mean her #*@@* No it was a dog.
Art Kelley
Supportive Member
There's a lady I've never met (her husband sets up the appointment) who puts down a hundred pieces of tape on the carpet, ostensibly to show me where the spots are, but she does miss a few, and I have to go around and pick up each piece of tape before cleaning the carpet. I've done this job three times now and each time they call for a bullshit redo (I forgot an area LOL). I go there next week for the next annual cleaning. Looking forward to it. My wife asks me why I drink so much when I get home.
Royal Man
Member
You clean for that lady too?? Painters tape, Duct tape, Post it notes, Mailing labels. Even the ones that make large squares all over the carpet with that old fashioned masking tape. (That sucks!!!) I've seen it all.
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In fact it was just yesterday this happened to me.
It's been too hot this last week here and when I got home and showered etc I decided I needed to go out and feed that desire that was deep within me. I had to go to target................to buy me some Chunky Monkey Ice cream.
Well I strolled in like I owned the place and headed to that aisle that contained my desire.
But when I entered that aisle..............it was as if I had hit a brick wall!
After getting my senses about me and this invisible wall I had hit........it dawned on me!
What I had ran into was a wall of such putrid stench...........that it could have peeled the paint off the walls.
So thick was that stench I began to actually taste it!
I began to spit on the floor to evacuate it so I wouldn't swallow it!
SOMEBODY HAD FARTED!
With my head reeling and trying to gain my composure.................I looked down toward the end of the aisle for the culprit.
And THERE was one of my customers!
A tall suntanned beauty with fake breasts..........shapely legs and wearing a tight tennis skirt .
You see she had married some old doctor and was no doubt a trophy wife.
Thank Gawd she didn't look back and see me convulsing on the ground!
I did get my ice cream and I did leave without her seeing me.
But next time she calls me for cleaning I'll always wonder....................how somebody so beautiful.......could be so..................UgLy!
It's been too hot this last week here and when I got home and showered etc I decided I needed to go out and feed that desire that was deep within me. I had to go to target................to buy me some Chunky Monkey Ice cream.
Well I strolled in like I owned the place and headed to that aisle that contained my desire.
But when I entered that aisle..............it was as if I had hit a brick wall!
After getting my senses about me and this invisible wall I had hit........it dawned on me!
What I had ran into was a wall of such putrid stench...........that it could have peeled the paint off the walls.
So thick was that stench I began to actually taste it!
I began to spit on the floor to evacuate it so I wouldn't swallow it!
SOMEBODY HAD FARTED!
With my head reeling and trying to gain my composure.................I looked down toward the end of the aisle for the culprit.
And THERE was one of my customers!
A tall suntanned beauty with fake breasts..........shapely legs and wearing a tight tennis skirt .
You see she had married some old doctor and was no doubt a trophy wife.
Thank Gawd she didn't look back and see me convulsing on the ground!
I did get my ice cream and I did leave without her seeing me.
But next time she calls me for cleaning I'll always wonder....................how somebody so beautiful.......could be so..................UgLy!
Charlie Lyman
Supportive Member
Just this morning my customer jumped up and down with excitement when I got the blue Otter Pop out of her carpet. She acted like a teenage girl excited to see Justin Bieber.
dealtimeman
Everyday is Saturday.
Jim Martin
Supportive Member
use to be a water bed there.....instead of taking it apart and moving it..they just installed new carpet around it...
worked so good with the water bed...screw it....just carpet around the book case......
there still just isn't any words for this one.................
worked so good with the water bed...screw it....just carpet around the book case......
there still just isn't any words for this one.................
Royal Man
Member
Those last pictures reminded me of in the past it was not un-common to see entire basements covered with different shag carpet samples. or carpets on the walls or even a few with carpets stapled to the entire ceilings.
Scott Rampage
Member
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2011
- Messages
- 64
- Name
- Scott Rampage
Those pictures are funny.
Vivers
Supportive Member
Yeah, basically customers pretreating spots for us and know it all guys who have perfected the rug Dr. cleaning
CrazyRay
Member
Customer in a nice home called me back out. She said the urine spots had returned. Of course I new better even before I saw it. Anyway, the customer and I are standing in the family room while she points out the spots. One look and I tell her those are fresh spots. She insisted that her dog was not peeing on the carpet anymore. In fact wasn't even allowed in the room. While she was finishing her say the dog walked up right in front of us next to the coffee table, lifted his leg and peed. It couldn't have been timed any better. LOL her face was primary red.
Mikey P
Administrator
I don't even know where to start...
Jim Pemberton
MB Exclusive.
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2006
- Messages
- 12,648
- Name
- Jim Pemberton
The guy in the motorized wheelchair Mike....tragic overall...but still funny
Zee
Supportive Member
Generally dislike when they know better..and when they pretreat all kinds of spots before we show up...only for us to realize our vacuum cleaner doesn't like all these wet spots all over and get that wet dusty (now muddy) built up junk all over the inside the vac cleaner.
Mikey P
Administrator
Bear with me.
Helper Boy and I went out to do some spot cleaning at a job today.
Helper Boy cleaned the home two weeks ago while I was away. He was aware that the man of the home had Parkinson's disease but did not see the man there on his last visit.
The wife sets up the job for today to have us clean up a area where his catheter bag leaked in her word's "two quarts" of urine out over night, plus a few other new spots. She would not be home but hubby would let us in.
OK.
Long, windy drive out there, my first time there. I thought we would just charge the minimum but after I suffered through the drive up, over and around the mountain I was dead set on hitting them up for $200.
Still with me?
It gets better.
We knock on the door and can hear some real strange noise from behind the door..
Imagine a in heat tom cat stuck in a set of bagpipes.
We think we hear "Come In" somewhere jumbled in the mumbling so we do.
Here behind the door we find a mid 50's man who is obviously having a hard time standing up, his pants are half down, a tracheotomy tube is in throat, he has awkwardly curved limbs and hands but a look in his eyes that despite his physical state, his mind is all there. He knows who we are and tries to communicate with us despite all the strange noises coming from his trache tube.
I remain calm and ask him to show us the areas to be cleaned. He got himself up stairs, amazingly enough, to show us the urine spill. When I commented that I could not smell the piss at all he replied "Good news" with a smile on his face.
After that he left us alone to clean up.
Now it gets good.
Career highlight type of good.
While helper boy is packing up I try to start a conversation with the guy. 80% of what he says is indiscernible. At one point he gets so excited that he accidentally pulls out his tracheotomy tube from the hole in his throat.
His AND my eyes go wide as he tries to get the message across that I need to come over and put the damn thing back in RIGHT NOW!
Here comes Florence Nightingale to the rescue.
Good lord but that was a act of courage that I'll never forget.
Gross.
After we both catch our breathes he wants to to tell me about a special van that his millionaire friends gave him to get around in. "It's so cool" was uttered half a dozen times.
He gets into his automated, hi tech wheel chair and signals for me to follow him outside to see the van.
Helper Boy at this point wants to see whats going on so we both follow him out. There is an outside switch on the van that for some reason wont open it up.The poor guy gets real frustrated and spits out a lot of gibberish but we get the point the he REALLY wants us to see how the ramps and special seat work. He motions that he is going inside to look for the key. We stay by the van and shake our heads in humor, sorrow and amazement at this guy's great attitude. Not a second later we hear a big crash bang boom coming from the other side of the vortex
.
His super wheelchair is to darn fast and he lost control in a corner and crashed in to a bunch of pots and drift wood. The poor bastard is leaned over in the bushes covered in potting soil, leaves, twigs and fragments of Terra Cotta. Of course we run over and pull him up and get him back in his chair sweep him off and pat him on the head. He is laughing so you know me, I loose it.
The 3 of us are practically crying when he yells "****, my wife is gonna kill me"!!
He begs me to put the pots back while he goes and gets the damn key to his damn van.
Helper Boy has to grab him by the horns to brush off all the soil and chunks of pots that are all over him before he drags it across the wet carpet..
So he goes inside to search for the key while we straighten up then not minute later we hear another Crash Bang Boom!! coming from inside the house.
Good lord we say to each other
with that I just watched a Jane Austin marathon look in our eyes.
We run in and find him hanging over a wooden ledge pinned under his super chair, He was reaching for something and his chair tipped over forcing him into a shelving unit where there WAS a bunch of china and pottery displayed. Things are happening so fast now because he is panicking about what his wife is gonna do to him and we are very concerned for his life. Next thing I know he flies down a few steps into the room where all the broken ceramics are and tries to pick them up. I tell him I'll handle it and the dislodged shelf. I ask him to go sit down and instead he trips on the steps and takes a header. He is now laying on the floor crying.
Talk about awkward.
We clean up the best we can and fix the shelf and you bet your ass he still wants us to see the damn van in action.
Turns out he was sitting on his fanny pack the whole time in the super chair. Well we all got a kick out of that. Before we go outside again he says" What the hell am I going to tell my wife?" ( when I say he "says" I mean he utters. mumbles or spouts out and we take five or more guesses as to what he is trying to get across) At this point I am no longer interested in making any money here but just getting the hell out of there and to the last job of the day. So I tell him "You know what bud, you tell you wife that our hoses knocked over your plants and china so there will be no charge, and hopefully get you off the hook.
He looks at me with tears in his eyes and says "damn, you guys are the best."
So...
We all go outside again to see this damn van and sure enough his key ain't in his fanny pack...
He motions he wants to go back inside to find the key but I tell him it's gonna have to wait until the next visit.
As we follow him back in he stops by the area where he wiped out and asks us to move a few pots and pieces of wood to try and camouflage the damage better. After a long painful conversation we come to understand that is not allowed to go out side and he is trying to hide his tracks. Seems last time he went out on his own he biffed it in the drive way and passed out. He got burns all over from the scorching hot asphalt. He asked us to get a broom and clean up a little better. No problem.
You could just tell that this was a great guy who you or I would have loved to been a pal with. He told us he built his house entirely by himself as well as ten other homes on the hill before the Parkinson's hit him.
I asked if the tube was related to the Parkinson's to which he replied "no, I had colic as a baby and back then they attempted to cure colic with radiation....."
Throat cancer.
What an experience.
On our way out asked how much we would have normally charged to come and clean the carpet. I told him about $150 and he started to cry again.
Helper Boy and I went out to do some spot cleaning at a job today.
Helper Boy cleaned the home two weeks ago while I was away. He was aware that the man of the home had Parkinson's disease but did not see the man there on his last visit.
The wife sets up the job for today to have us clean up a area where his catheter bag leaked in her word's "two quarts" of urine out over night, plus a few other new spots. She would not be home but hubby would let us in.
OK.
Long, windy drive out there, my first time there. I thought we would just charge the minimum but after I suffered through the drive up, over and around the mountain I was dead set on hitting them up for $200.
Still with me?
It gets better.
We knock on the door and can hear some real strange noise from behind the door..
Imagine a in heat tom cat stuck in a set of bagpipes.
We think we hear "Come In" somewhere jumbled in the mumbling so we do.
Here behind the door we find a mid 50's man who is obviously having a hard time standing up, his pants are half down, a tracheotomy tube is in throat, he has awkwardly curved limbs and hands but a look in his eyes that despite his physical state, his mind is all there. He knows who we are and tries to communicate with us despite all the strange noises coming from his trache tube.
I remain calm and ask him to show us the areas to be cleaned. He got himself up stairs, amazingly enough, to show us the urine spill. When I commented that I could not smell the piss at all he replied "Good news" with a smile on his face.
After that he left us alone to clean up.
Now it gets good.
Career highlight type of good.
While helper boy is packing up I try to start a conversation with the guy. 80% of what he says is indiscernible. At one point he gets so excited that he accidentally pulls out his tracheotomy tube from the hole in his throat.
His AND my eyes go wide as he tries to get the message across that I need to come over and put the damn thing back in RIGHT NOW!
Here comes Florence Nightingale to the rescue.
Good lord but that was a act of courage that I'll never forget.
Gross.
After we both catch our breathes he wants to to tell me about a special van that his millionaire friends gave him to get around in. "It's so cool" was uttered half a dozen times.
He gets into his automated, hi tech wheel chair and signals for me to follow him outside to see the van.
Helper Boy at this point wants to see whats going on so we both follow him out. There is an outside switch on the van that for some reason wont open it up.The poor guy gets real frustrated and spits out a lot of gibberish but we get the point the he REALLY wants us to see how the ramps and special seat work. He motions that he is going inside to look for the key. We stay by the van and shake our heads in humor, sorrow and amazement at this guy's great attitude. Not a second later we hear a big crash bang boom coming from the other side of the vortex
His super wheelchair is to darn fast and he lost control in a corner and crashed in to a bunch of pots and drift wood. The poor bastard is leaned over in the bushes covered in potting soil, leaves, twigs and fragments of Terra Cotta. Of course we run over and pull him up and get him back in his chair sweep him off and pat him on the head. He is laughing so you know me, I loose it.
The 3 of us are practically crying when he yells "****, my wife is gonna kill me"!!
He begs me to put the pots back while he goes and gets the damn key to his damn van.
Helper Boy has to grab him by the horns to brush off all the soil and chunks of pots that are all over him before he drags it across the wet carpet..
So he goes inside to search for the key while we straighten up then not minute later we hear another Crash Bang Boom!! coming from inside the house.
Good lord we say to each other
with that I just watched a Jane Austin marathon look in our eyes.We run in and find him hanging over a wooden ledge pinned under his super chair, He was reaching for something and his chair tipped over forcing him into a shelving unit where there WAS a bunch of china and pottery displayed. Things are happening so fast now because he is panicking about what his wife is gonna do to him and we are very concerned for his life. Next thing I know he flies down a few steps into the room where all the broken ceramics are and tries to pick them up. I tell him I'll handle it and the dislodged shelf. I ask him to go sit down and instead he trips on the steps and takes a header. He is now laying on the floor crying.
Talk about awkward.
We clean up the best we can and fix the shelf and you bet your ass he still wants us to see the damn van in action.
Turns out he was sitting on his fanny pack the whole time in the super chair. Well we all got a kick out of that. Before we go outside again he says" What the hell am I going to tell my wife?" ( when I say he "says" I mean he utters. mumbles or spouts out and we take five or more guesses as to what he is trying to get across) At this point I am no longer interested in making any money here but just getting the hell out of there and to the last job of the day. So I tell him "You know what bud, you tell you wife that our hoses knocked over your plants and china so there will be no charge, and hopefully get you off the hook.
He looks at me with tears in his eyes and says "damn, you guys are the best."
So...
We all go outside again to see this damn van and sure enough his key ain't in his fanny pack...
He motions he wants to go back inside to find the key but I tell him it's gonna have to wait until the next visit.
As we follow him back in he stops by the area where he wiped out and asks us to move a few pots and pieces of wood to try and camouflage the damage better. After a long painful conversation we come to understand that is not allowed to go out side and he is trying to hide his tracks. Seems last time he went out on his own he biffed it in the drive way and passed out. He got burns all over from the scorching hot asphalt. He asked us to get a broom and clean up a little better. No problem.
You could just tell that this was a great guy who you or I would have loved to been a pal with. He told us he built his house entirely by himself as well as ten other homes on the hill before the Parkinson's hit him.
I asked if the tube was related to the Parkinson's to which he replied "no, I had colic as a baby and back then they attempted to cure colic with radiation....."
Throat cancer.
What an experience.
On our way out asked how much we would have normally charged to come and clean the carpet. I told him about $150 and he started to cry again.
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F
FB19087
Guest
Hopefully you won't go broke paying for priceless china...now that you admitted to it (no bill)
dealtimeman
Everyday is Saturday.
That's a job you will remember for,a long time
Steve Lawrence
Member
Hopefully you won't go broke paying for priceless china...now that you admitted to it (no bill)
Way to throw cold water on a touching story, Freddie.
bob vawter
Grassy Knoller
Have i ever told the "I killt the old woman story.....?
Mikey P
Administrator
Yes
SamIam
Member
She checking your eds
bob vawter
Grassy Knoller
Well Mikey...there may be some of our new readers that would enjoy a tragic death while on my FIRST JOB!
Cleanworks
Moderator
Funniest thing my costumer has done is make me zebra striped leggings.
Remember the post I had about which booties to give at each cleaning. Did a job a couple weeks ago at a condo on the lake. nice older couple. Gave the the shoe covers prior to cleaning as I was doing the entire condo and they were going to be there the whole time. He puts shoe covers on right away and I go off to clean. Awhile later I hear his wife say the neighbor needs help with something so out of the corner of my eye I see him go outside - with shoe covers on - and goes to help the neighbor. Later comes in and walks on the just cleaned carpet. Im thinking that maybe giving out shoe covers is a stupid idea.
bob vawter
Grassy Knoller
I'm sure he held the hose up off the carpet which made you carry the weight of the hose the whole time
Right?
bob vawter
Grassy Knoller
I have yet to have one person satisfactory explain how the booties can possibly be of any hep at all.....
I had an appliance repair guy INSIST on putting them on (rules).....so he had to walk out to the truck for a part... . Booties an all....da!
